The Corporate Emancipation Series

A four-part satirical manifesto on metric-mismanagement, corporate hostage situations, and the $1.275 million solution to fix it.

A newly fired employee joyfully leaving a corporate headquarters carrying his office belongings as confetti falls around him.
Day 1 • 3 Min Read

The Preamble

When getting fired is universally celebrated by everyone who used to work there, you are dealing with a psychological endurance test.

Read the Manifesto ➔
Day 2 • 4 Min Read

The Seven-Year Glitch

Why handing in your Tesla keycard provides the exact same euphoric high as finalizing a divorce from a truly terrible spouse.

Read the Diagnosis ➔
Day 3 • 4 Min Read

Hardcore Anonymous

Go undercover at a support group for the survivors still trapped on the assembly line, and explore the absurd coping mechanisms keeping them afloat.

Read the Fallout ➔
Day 4 • 3 Min Read

The Ultimatum

An open letter outlining the $1.275 million solution to fix the Gigafactory. Conditions apply. No meme management.

Read the Terms ➔